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Brighten Your Day and Enlighten Your Life
George Bernard Shaw once said that if you find something funny
search it for hidden truth. Here are few pearls of wisdom
packaged in humour. Enjoy.
1. You wouldn't worry what people thought about you if you only
knew how seldom they did....
Can I Have Your Autograph?
Can I Have Your Autograph? By Stephen Schochet Being a celebrity means dealing with fan demands for autographs, ranging from polite and appropriate to rude and overbearing. One time Katherine Hepburn was performing on Broadway and tried to exit...
Hippo Rage - a humorous look at stress and anger today
(text of a mini-keynote speech by David Leonhardt, The Happy Guy, which brought down the house in Gatineau, Quebec, April 21, 2002) Has anybody here ever been stuck in traffic for a frustratingly long time? Put up your hand if you have. Oooh!...
Mr. Cheapie's Frugal Shopping Tips
Hello. Mr. Cheapie here again with three more fantastic I-can't-believe-I-didn't-think-of-that frugal shopping tips. I already gave you my best frugal eating tips at: http://www.thehappyguy.com/frugal-living-tip.html Now let's move away from food,...
The Ultimate sting
The Ultimate Sting Looking for Harvey Weinstein Brassy, ballsy and full of energy. A totem of two women’s struggle to do something worthwhile in life, it certainly knows how to serve up endless comical observations. This is what comedy is...
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Osama and Saddam
Osama and Saddam
You know that if he could've done it before 911, Osama would've come out of his cave and gone to the top of a mountain where his cell phone reception was better and had a conversation with Saddam that would've probably gone something like the following (translated into English for your convenience):
Osama said, "Hello, Saddam?"
"Who's this?" Saddam asked.
"Osama."
"Omarosa?"
"No, Osama. Hold on while I try another spot… Can you hear me now?"
"Osama! What can I do you for?"
"Saddam, my buddy, my friend. You know that we've never quite seen eye-to-eye."
"That's because you're almost eight feet tall, you freak."
"That's what I like about you, Saddam, your sense of humor. And your desire to kill the infidels."
"What are you trying to butter me up for? I'm really busy. The American dogs are barking on my doorstep. I've got nerve gas, nuclear materials, smallpox and anthrax to pack up before they arrive and get it out of the country so they can't find it. There are banks to loot. I've got sons-in-law to behead. A dictator's
work is never done."
"I hate to ask you, but I've got a plan to attack the Great Satan America, and I need a million dollars."
"A million dollars? Is that all? Pocket change. I can get you a couple of million and I'm sure there are others in the Middle East that would kick in something."
"Good. Good."
"I can send you a truck full of cash a week from Thursday. By the way, I've got a question for you. You've evaded the Americans since you attacked the USS Cole. Do you have any suggestions on how I can hide from them if they invade?"
"Have you considered living in a hole in the ground? It's worked pretty well for me."
"I don't know. I've been living in palaces for a while. Living in a hole in the ground doesn't sound like much fun."
"What are you whining about? Try dragging a dialysis machine around from cave to cave while evading the Americans, then you should complain."
About the Author
Rocky Ramsey publishes Movies, Money and More - Movie reviews, entertainment, humor, money, contests, sweepstakes, freebies, and more http://www.MoviesMoneyandMore.com
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