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Hippo Rage - a humorous look at stress and anger today
(text of a mini-keynote speech by David Leonhardt, The Happy Guy, which brought down the house in Gatineau, Quebec, April 21, 2002) Has anybody here ever been stuck in traffic for a frustratingly long time? Put up your hand if you have. Oooh!...
Hollywood Humor: Cary Grant's Muffins
In 1853 in Saratoga Springs, New York, American Indian Chef George Crum was preparing his specialty French fried potatoes in the upscale resort he was working at, when he received word that one of the patrons complained they were cut too thick. An...
The $600,000 Quarter - A True Story
The $600,000 Quarter - A True Story By Rocky Ramsey My father has what can only be described as fantastically good luck or horribly bad luck. You'll have to be the judge with this one. This is a true story. Several months ago my parents went to...
The Food Pyramid
Just a few calories ago, the government revised the food pyramid. You can see it at http://www.mypyramid.gov/
It has a snazzy new logo with a stick figure dashing up the Steps To a Healthier You on the side of the pyramid. It’s supposed to...
Top 10 Things to make your next company meeting more exciting Part 2
Top 10 Things to make your next company meeting more exciting Part 2 10. Slowly slump in your seat. When you are about to fall off the chair, suddenly straighten up and apologize profusely. 9. Remove your shoes and socks. Lay your socks on the...
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Floorspace
Floorspace
By Dan Reinhold
Odd how frightening the unknown can be.
The other day, I encountered something so rare and unusual, it was like a dream.
The last unexplored and little understood frontier.
Floorspace.
With two boys in the house, pandemonium is the norm. Both toys and clothing desert the confines of bureaus and shelves, instead preferring to claim their rightful place on the bedroom floor where they are much closer to hand.
The wide expanses upon which we walk provide a home to all that land upon it - wrappers, paper, books, blankets, hermit crabs...
Oh...that's another story.
The reassuring squishes, crunches and snaps bring comfort to the young overseers, confident that somewhere below...the floor is there.
I entered this domain with an awe borne of my desensitisation to shock at the sight. Valiant and determined forays to tame the wilderness had always been undone by its rapid regrowth, rivaling any spreading menace known to man.
This day, my eye lit upon a sight so strange, so wondruous that I was transfixed by it. The legends were true, the evidence revealed...In the middle of the room, was a flat,, shallow space
foreign to its surroundings. It was like gazing upon the Holy Grail.
Floorspace.
Fearful at the sight no parent of boys had seen, I began to sweat and shiver, with a deep ache within. I stood frozen as the two overseers entered the room.
"Hi,
Dad!"
"Uh...Dad?"
"What's up with Dad??"
My mouth moved, but no sound came forth as I pointed toward the mystery.
"Think he's OK?"
"Yeah...probably just a heart attack or something"
"Oh.......wanna play ball?"
"OK!!"
Side note: Should you ever need assistance while in my area, I highly recommend the local paramedic service. Very prompt and efficient, although their dispatchers require further training in interpreting gasps and chokes...
Staring at the ambulance ceiling light, I felt a sense of peace and enlightenment.
Let others pursue Shangri-La.
I had seen...Floorspace.
Working at home provides Dan Reinhold with many out-of-your-mind experiences. That's why he's the editor of WAHumor, the humor newsletter by and for the work at home community, so that others may keep their grasp on what little sanity can be found in the crazy work at home world! Launching on August 2...www.WAHumor.com!!! For details about our special pre-launch goodie, go to Launchpromo@sendfree.com
About the Author
Working at home provides Dan Reinhold with many out-of-your-mind experiences. That's why he's the editor of WAHumor, the humor newsletter by and for the work at home community, so that others may keep their grasp on what little sanity can be found in the crazy work at home world! Launching on August 2...www.WAHumor.com!!! For details about our special pre-launch goodie, go to Launchpromo@sendfree.com
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